remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
