Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
