yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
