I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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