I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
