can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
