Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
