Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
