I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
