Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
