As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
