Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
