I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
