Have you finally orgasmed yet?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
