Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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