There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
