watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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