you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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