I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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