so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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