You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
