New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
