That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
