We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
