I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
