So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
