I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize