i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
