I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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