just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize