Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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