where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This is not my ceiling
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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