my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
