Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
tell me about the fingering
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