So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
