just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize