I can text with my tongue
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
