that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
