My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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