Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
