How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
