if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
