you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
