just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
