1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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