i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize