All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Michael Bay diarrhea
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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