I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
