my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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