now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
