I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my poor anus
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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