i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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