doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
