i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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