And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
