yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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