I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
