oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
