you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
