I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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