in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
