Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
COCAINE IS GR8
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
wow bdsm is so cute
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
