Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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