his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize