some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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