idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i think i just lost a toe
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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