ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
